I Have a Dream:
An Interview with Corporate Legal
What a nightmare! We woke up in a cold sweat recently after having the following conversation. What a relief to realize it was only a bad dream.
Could an exchange like this really take place? Of course not. It is inconceivable that any individual or organization could be this out of touch with reality. But because Entropy Gradient Reversals is committed to exploring the far-fetched and improbable, our delirium is here presented in its entirety.
By the way, there is no actual 666 Corporation. Just in case you wondered.
Was It the Phone or the Alarm Clock?
EGR: Hello, Entropy Gradient Reversals.
LEGAL: ...uh, I'm calling for a Mr. Christopher Locke. Is this Mr. Locke speaking?
EGR: Yes, we are Mr. Locke. Sometimes.
LEGAL: Mr. Locke, I am Midas Welby, Under Assistant Counsel to the Executive Vice President for Legal Affairs at the 666 Corporation. I believe you work for our organization, is that correct?
EGR: We do, yes.
LEGAL: "We"? Are there more than one of you there? Are you referring to a department I am unaware of?
EGR: We represent a plurality of perspectives.
LEGAL: Well, let me get straight to the point, Mr. Locke. I am in receipt of what appears to be an electronic distribution of some sort, originating from yourself. Among other things, it names you as chairman of something called Entropy Gradient Reversals. Do you know what I'm referring to here?
EGR: Yes, we are Entropy, Inc. The "Inc" is for incarnate, by the way.
LEGAL: Mr. Locke, I don't understand. You say you work for 666, yet you also have a position with another firm?
EGR: Well, it's not much of a position, really -- or firm either, if you must know...
LEGAL: It says here "Chairman," Mr. Locke, and "Chief Executive." I would say those are quite high posts. Are you aware of 666's position in such matters?
EGR: No, I guess not. Can't I be chairman if I want?
LEGAL: Mr. Locke, I hardly know where to begin. The fact is, you cannot maintain formal ties to any other organization while you are in our employ. Was this not made clear to you in BARFS-note 3892C/P?
NOTE: BARFS (Binary Algorithms for Redundantly Formatted Strings) was