There is no doubt that the Philadelphia Decision will go down in Internet history as a tremendous victory for the
<body BGCOLOR="#000000">tag, and by extension, a resounding vindication of Netscape's bold move to break the virtual stranglehold of the needlessly restrictive HTML 2.0 standard. In addition to its crucial ramifications for Free Speech (a well worn Liberal code word for tit shots, as most Internet users are known to be functionally illiterate), many AOLers would never have learned how to create Wired-style colored homepage backgrounds without this historic legal confrontation.
We had initially planned an entire issue of EGR on this momentous occasion, but got way too busy looking into animated GIF techniques. Thus, our most salient remark on the subject must remain the headline above, which -- though it has little to do with the rest of what follows -- is nonetheless, in our experience, sufficiently general to serve as a profoundly succinct commentary on a vast range of human aspirations and endeavors.
Fuckin A! On with the show.
We recently had the opportunity to meet a very interesting gentleman. This was at one of those precious Internet get togethers where everyone is so natural, unpretentious and open-minded it makes you want to join the Benevolent and Paternal Order of Elks. It's no use feigning ignorance; our records indicate that you have been to at least one of these gatherings.
This fellow was dressed in an impeccable Armani jumpsuit with a discreet blue ribbon pinned to the lapel. Apart from the electric purple polarizing aviator shades, the immense quantities of absinthe he was knocking back, and the gold chain tethering his pet lobster, he seemed an ordinary businessman. His card introduced him minimally as "M'Fisto" -- a naive affectation we thought at first. But on reflection, we're not quite so sure. Rather than prejudice the case or precipitate premature conclusions on the part of our readers, we will let him introduce himself in the conversation that unfolds below.
M'FISTO: Ah yes, I've seen your Entropy thing. Quite intriguing, actually.
EGR: Great. I'l