Let's face right up to it: we owe our readers an apology. That last issue, some of you said, was simply too confessional. Moreover, some others observed, it was clearly the product of a clinically disturbed mind. Having since re-read the piece several times ourselves, we have to concur. This has prompted two equally important resolves: a) to be more diligent in adhering to our prescribed schedule of medications, and b) to adopt a more adult attitude in our editorial style.
Not having a whole shitload of experience in the latter respect, we went in search of role models. Fortunately, we didn't have far to look. From a quick Alta Vista query and a tour of the resulting homepages, it appears that many computer journalists -- both freelance and regular staff -- not only write compelling articles about industry developments, but also undertake quite lucrative projects in behalf of vendors. These projects can include anything from ghosting laudatory biographies of notable executives, to penning Mar-Com collateral promotions, to authoring product reviews that will later be "placed" under a different name in well known trade publications via highly efficient PR intermediaries.
This seems to us a pretty good deal all round. It also seems that adopting similar attitudes and strategies would be conducive to fulfilling our resolution to create a new and more credible image for Entropy Gradient Reversals. The authors we discovered through our research do not have time for juvenile japes and jokes, nor do they stoop to irony. They traffic in facts, not mere opinions. They are balanced, reflective, serious professionals. In more ways than one, they are All Business.
Human nature being what it is, some readers will no doubt jump to the conclusion that this sort of extracurricular vendor arrangement constitutes a conflict of interests. But this charge is absurd on its face. These authors' products are entirely objective -- as construed to represent the self-evident case that anything published in a magazine, newspaper or on a newswire is, by virtue of the Higher Calling of the publishing trade, therefore and by definition the unalloyed truth. Quod erat demonstrandum. End of story. In God We Trust. In computer science circles this is called "recursion." In formal logic it is called tautology. Never mind what it's called by certain disgruntled media watchdog types. From here on out, we plan to emulate, in both tone and availability, our more seasoned mentors in the computer press. Please call for our consulting rates.