"Hey, what's this all about?"
"I'll be fucked if I know..."
It's true hard work never killed anybody,
but I figure, why take the chance?
Everyone needs a resume. It is a passport to crucial livelihood options, such as the ability to dine in fine restaurants rather than from the dumpster behind the local 7-11; to live in a home of one's own rather than a refrigerator shipping crate; and perhaps most importantly, to put one's personal stamp on the truck and commerce of the world at large: to make one's mark, as it were. Like you, Valued Readers, we also maintain such a resume, and like most of you -- having studied our Negroponte -- we have put it online in digital form. You can view it at:
But there is a fatal flaw in such documents. They give dates and datapoints, but rarely add up to a whole -- or even barely adequate -- picture of the individual they are intended to represent in absentia. We here at EGR World HQ have been struggling with this problem for some time. Readers who have followed the development of this excremental little zine will immediately recognize the foremost source of our discomfiture in this regard, i.e., we are plural. In contrast, the canonical resume seeks to present a profile of its subject as a predictably one-dimensional persona. As we all know, such entities do not occur in nature.
True, we could add a section to our curriculum vitae along the following lines:
HobbiesHowever, as long-time readers will instantly recognize, these various characterizations hardly do justice to the much larger agenda we have come to term, for lack of a more embracing label, "Entropy Gradient Reversals."
- Fomenting Cognitive Chaos
- Propagating Semiotic Field Disruption
- Disseminating Disinfotainment
Finally, though, we have hit upon a solu