Two great European narcotics, alcohol and Christianity.
Friedrich Nietzsche

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist
it would be necessary to invent it.

Katharine Whitehorn

Midnight, and the clock strikes. It is Christmas Day,
the werewolves' birthday, the door of the solstice
still wide enough open to let them all slink through.

Angela Carter

Entropy Gradient Reversals

Season's Bleatings

Here we are at the end of another year and that means it's time for our Predictions for 1998 -- or at least a fond look back at the Best and Worst of 1997.

NOT!

OK, then how's about a violently opinionated piece on the $US Justice Department and The Whole Microsoft Thing? Here it is in a nutshell: Janet Reno and Bill Gates can both go hang themselves for all we care. Well, all right... but why not a saccharine reminisce on Princess Di: What She Meant to Us?

Look people, don't you get it? It's Entropy Gradient REVERSALS for christsake! That means we have no intention of following the rest of the journalistic lemmings down the slippery slope to some way-cool happening convergent multimedia hell realm. Even if it would make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Even if it would land us those two million mythical subscribers we set out to snatch from the the iron jaws of manifest web destiny. No. We refuse. (Even though "Our Last Night With Di" would make for some shit-hot reading, we have to admit.)

The whole point of EGR, if it has one, is to go against the grain of industry wisdom, common sense, good taste and reasonable expectations. So fuck you. Merry Christmas.

But don't despair. Our online peregrinations into the not-so-obvious and irrelevant have unearthed something you can actually do to while away those boring hours in whatever sweatshop inferno you happen to frequent just to punch the clock to pretend to work to earn your paltry sodden daily bread. What we're taking here is a MAJOR time waster, so don't try this one on your own dime.

Ready? Click over to Audible at http://www.audible.com and poke around until you find the FREE STUFF they're offering. You must Act Now, etc. Look for Dave Barry's Greatest Hits and the link that says "Download the unabridged 3-hour version." On your corporate T1, this is a fast-grab freebie and even at dialup speeds it doesn't take very long