Civilization is the lamb's skin in which barbarism masquerades.
Thomas Bailey Aldrich
Entropy Gradient Reversals

The Wolf at the Door

oh fuck! It sure has been an interesting couple of weeks over here at EGR World HQ. The company for which we'd been working lately -- or at least from which we'd been collecting a paycheck -- found out the hard way what happens when you Swim With the Sharks in nothing but your underwear. For obvious reasons, we cannot detail the predatory business practices, collusive subterfuge, and outright corporate corruption on the part of one of our very favorite Fortune-100 companies that precipitated this particular passion play -- let's call it "Death of a Cash Cow." Suffice it to say that the impact on our own financial circumstances was devastating and immediate.

Oh no, we thought, here it comes: full-bore karmic payback for the years we've wasted fucking around with EGR when we should have been sucking up to the very companies we've been pissing on! Oh shit oh dear we're gonna starve to death and so on. However, while this turn of events may sound life threatening, its effects were in fact no more dire than, say, being hit full-on by a Steinway piano falling from a sixth-story window.

When the initial Foaming-At-The-Mouth-in-Panic Phase had abated sufficiently that we could again think clearly -- or as clear as it's ever likely to get at any rate -- our first thought, of course, was for the resume:

This damn thing is so obsolete it still refers to artificial intelligence, expert systems and robotics, as if anyone with any money could give a flying fuck. Or how about SGML, document management, and computer-supported cooperative work? Now there's a handful of high-pull buzz words! Are we talking Growth Industry here or what? It was painfully clear that we were going to have to spend some serious time bringing our sadly neglected CV up to date.

Meanwhile, we saw this call for speakers at some local Denver Internet whoop-up, and figured maybe this'd be a good place to troll for other sorts of work. So we shot off the following precis:

Scream III: Horror Stories from the World Wide Web

Technology and implementation issues often crowd out all others when companies construct their web strategies. However, thes