Through our sunless lanes creeps Poverty with her hungry eyes, and Sin with his sodden face follows close behind her. Misery wakes us in the morning and Shame sits with us at night.
Oscar Wilde

It is safest to be moderately base -- to be flexible in shame, and to be always ready for what is generous, good and just, when anything is to be gained by virtue.
Sydney Smith (1771-1845)

Entropy Gradient Reversals


I wake up Sunday morning. Oh no, it's too early. But it's also too late. If you know what I'm saying. Will I write today or fuck off playing Microsoft Hearts like I did yesterday? God, that was awful. And if I write, what will I write about? There are those of you pressuring me to do a book. Several books, actually. But the one I could almost take seriously would be, like, a memoir. Those are big these days. Stumbling down the stairs to see if I can remember how the coffee maker works, I'm thinking yeah, on days like this that'd be a good plan. Instead of having to worry about what kinda thing would most offend the EGR Irregulars, I could just write about my life.

Problem is, I don't have a life.

Well, that's not exactly true I guess. I can see the mountains for a second from the top of the stairs. It's a Zen thing -- that's the only time I see them. The rest of the day I'm sitting behind this terminal looking into data abstractions. You know, where you live. But just last week I took my family up to the Great Divide. Selene got a rock. She's eight. She likes rocks. She thought the Divide was a cool idea too. Lauren (a.k.a. RageGirl) and myself worry about her education. She reads about 1000 words a minute, knocks off three books a day when she isn't wasting her time in school, and writes poetry on the refrigerator with those little magnetized words:

remember eternity
broken universe
night would listen
drink life
speak breath
desire stream
never embrace

your slow warm game
soft vast star
his job for air
kill poetry

bug hole
father dirt fire
young current marble
know blind circle
let me see him

lie fat crap over fish and ask sad boy
though velvet steam worry almost devour
make open pool bellow
explore present
did she use her concrete
hot ice like deep bone
ferocious morning feline
my delicious daughter