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Idaho for the Curious

This one went out strictly as email to subscribers -- until now of course. It really pissed a lot of people off, and was highly effective in our continued drive to reduce subscriptions.
                         < Zero-Value-Added >

Dear [#insert First_Name],

As a Valued Subscriber to EGR, we know how important it is to you to
keep up with every trivial nuance of our informative and self-serving
"web-zine."  Dangling modifier or not, we're sure you'll want to read
on, [#insert First_Name], for some Important Information!

Only 50 shy of our First-1000-Subscribers milestone, we are about to
prepare a Commemorative Issue Honoring Eleven Months of Nearly
Uninterrupted Publication.  It goes without saying that we owe our
success to the wonderful personal relationships we've had the
privilege of establishing with readers like you, [#insert First_Name].

Meanwhile, we thought we'd remind those of you who normally read EGR
exclusively in email to ***WAKE THE FUCK UP*** and go check out the
website:

   http://www.rageboy.com

There have been some additions that just won't translate into ASCII
email.  Among these is a Special Issue titled "EGR Sells Out!!!" -- of
which RB comments: "RageBoy want mojo gris-gris advertising Ju-Ju.
RageBoy want now!"

On a not particularly related front, EGR recently joined the
Amazon.com Associates Program.  This was entirely inspired by our
stumbling upon a book we're sure you'll all want to get your hands on
ASAP.  Weighing in at what looks to be about 1000 pages, "Idaho for
the Curious" is a must-have travel guide to this often under-
appreciated geographical gem.  Given that it was published 15 years
ago, we hope we're not too late in alerting readers to this unusual
literary value.  Yes, EGR gets a percentage of the Amazon sale price;
to order (and Show Your Support), just click on the book title at the
top of our page.

We've also picked up a couple of new web awards, those clever
mechanisms for increasing traffic to somebody else's site.  One is
the "Go Ahead, Make Me Laugh" award for Funniest Site on the Net, at
which we actually took some offense.  We calmed down when we realized
that it's given by an unfortunate human being so dependent on
tranquilizers that he can say "The beauty of the infomercial is that
there are no commercial interruptions."  The other is "The URL
Spider's Best of the Web," about which there isn't a lot to say since
it doesn't say anything.

Howard Greenstein